SuzukiSavage.com /cgi-bin/YaBB.pl General Category >> The Cafe >> court house /cgi-bin/YaBB.pl?num=1274509249 Message started by kennycreed on 05/21/10 at 23:20:49

Title: court house Post by kennycreed on 05/21/10 at 23:20:49 American Courts by Charles M. Sevilla and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place. Regardless of originations, they can be eye openers as to the mentality of those engaged in the courts _______________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. _______________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there _______________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _______________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? _______________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ. _______________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _______________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid. _______________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? _______________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. _______________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male. _______________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. _______________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _______________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. _______________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. _______________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? _______________________ And the best for last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Title: Re: court house Post by Serowbot on 05/21/10 at 23:29:44 ARRRarrrhharhhh!.....   I think I bent a valve!... ;D ;D ;D... Help!,.. Kenny's killing me!...

Title: Re: court house Post by LANCER on 05/22/10 at 08:27:39 LOL  ! ! ! I'M DIEING HERE ...............   ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

Title: Re: court house Post by mick on 05/22/10 at 08:31:30 great stuff, funeeee

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