SuzukiSavage.com - Print Page

SuzukiSavage.com
/cgi-bin/YaBB.pl
General Category >> The Cafe >> Does this sound like your dog or cat?
/cgi-bin/YaBB.pl?num=1292045403

Message started by kimchris1 on 12/10/10 at 21:30:02

Title: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by kimchris1 on 12/10/10 at 21:30:02

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object.. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by sluggo on 12/11/10 at 02:27:52

here's the difference between a dog and a cat.

a dog raids the dinner table when you are not looking, gets caught and thinks. darn I almost ate their dinner.

the cat gets caught raiding dinner table, goes to top of china cabinet and thinks darn those people are eating my dinner..

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by Paladin. on 12/11/10 at 09:00:26

My nephew came to the house, dog checked him out. "Hey, Dufus likes me!"
"Good, otherwise I would have to kick you out."
He started laughing until he noticed my face -- I was not kidding.

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by justin_o_guy2 on 12/11/10 at 11:05:48

Man walks into house with food

Dog sees & thinks

HE is a GOD

Man walks into house with food

Cat sees & thinks

I am a God..

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by mick on 12/11/10 at 13:07:20

77686E6974734272427A68642F1D0 wrote:

Man walks into house with food

Dog sees & thinks

HE is a GOD

Man walks into house with food

Cat sees & thinks

I am a God..

And that is why I do not have a cat.
we do have a barn cat but he is wild, we do feed him every day.not to much or he won't do his job, Chief mouser.

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by Paladin. on 12/11/10 at 13:38:01

20242E2639252821242028344D0 wrote:

....we do have a barn cat but he is wild, we do feed him every day.not to much or he won't do his job, Chief mouser.

Had cats. Tigger was too fat, so I cut her food. She started leaving feathers around the house. I let her eat all the food she wanted.

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by Paladin. on 12/11/10 at 13:40:23

http://www.andruschak.net/image/yougotup.jpg

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by Starlifter on 12/12/10 at 14:29:47

They are all so sweet!..our furkids! :)

Title: Re: Does this sound like your dog or cat?
Post by Yonuh Adisi FSO on 12/13/10 at 18:13:44

Dogs come when called.

Cats have answering machines.