You guys should listen to some of the holy roller hoodrats the TV has been talking to down here. And then there are the ones interviewed in front of the Colt 45 malt liquor signs...
Religion is big business in Dixieland. Rapture scares are just another way for crooked preachers to fleece their flocks.
I actually am ordained. Same way Jesse James got ordained on Monster garage a few years ago. Couple minutes on the Internet, Universal Life whatevers web site. Friends wanted me to officiate at their wedding (which did not happen). Spent 4 years in a Jesuit preparatory high school. Mom always dragged me and my little brother off to church with her.
If people ask I say I'm pagan. Explains the gun and nudity when the Mormons come calling. Or the JWs.

It's all a crock anyway.