SuzukiSavage.com - HUMOR (jokes and such!)

Art Webb

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #720 - 02/16/16 at 09:03:43

A man on his Motorcycle was riding along Santa Monica Boulevarde when suddenly the sky clouded over and, in a booming voice, God said: "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.''
The rider pulled over and said: "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.''
God replied: "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific ocean and the concrete and steel it would take.
"I can do it, but it's hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
"Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help all mankind.''
The rider thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said: "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women.
"I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.''
God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?''

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Art Webb

Serious Thumper

Offline

SuzukiSavage.com
Rocks!

Posts: 3007
columbus, Texas
Gender: male

Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #721 - 02/19/16 at 19:53:12

On the farm lived a young female chicken and a male horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm..
Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, she too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift her out of the pit.The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled her up and out, saving her young life.

The moral of the story, (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)?
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't, need A Harley to Pick Up Chicks."

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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #722 - 03/09/16 at 19:17:40 A group of baboons is called a "congress". Seems appropriate!
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Art Webb Serious Thumper Offline SuzukiSavage.com Rocks! Posts: 3007 columbus, Texas Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #723 - 03/11/16 at 07:53:00 Funny but inaccurate
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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #724 - 03/11/16 at 12:40:17 How so?
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Paladin. Serious Thumper Offline Hamster Posts: 4929 Sunny Southern California Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #725 - 03/11/16 at 12:57:54 http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Pointless/AnimalGroups.html Baboons: Troop, Flange Salamandars: Congress
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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #726 - 03/11/16 at 13:55:05 Ah! Then that joke makes no sense. It's a joke itself!
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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #727 - 03/11/16 at 13:58:44 Ok, how 'bout this instead... I called the cops and told them there was a murder on my front lawn. They said "we don't handle crows" and to stop calling!
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Art Webb Serious Thumper Offline SuzukiSavage.com Rocks! Posts: 3007 columbus, Texas Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #728 - 03/12/16 at 08:09:47
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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #729 - 04/14/16 at 13:28:59 I saw a t-shirt today that said: Destind for grateness
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DesertRat Serious Thumper Offline I love rat bikes! Posts: 1569 Arizona	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #730 - 04/14/16 at 16:18:17 why isn't this PINNED at the top ... ???
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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #731 - 04/14/16 at 17:47:03 I had to search 4 pages back to find it.
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stewmills Serious Thumper Offline Imagination is more important than knowledge Posts: 2646 Auburn, AL Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #732 - 04/21/16 at 13:54:26 Yesterday, I was sitting on my deck, sipping a nice cold beer, while my wife mowed the lawn with a push mower, in 98 degree heat. My neighbor came out, and saw my wife struggling in the heat, and yelled at me, "YOU SHOULD BE HUNG" I shouted back, "That's why SHE'S mowing"
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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #733 - 04/21/16 at 20:23:43 Don't flatter yourself Stew!
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Kris01 Serious Thumper Offline Eat, sleep, RIDE! Posts: 3767 Tennessee Gender:	Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!) Reply #734 - 05/05/16 at 19:58:21 Ok, this one is not really a joke but I think it's funny. If you have a pizza with radius Z and thickness A, it's volume is PIZZ*A!
Back to top	There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix! 2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor IP Logged