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HUMOR (jokes and such!) (Read 13690 times)
Dave
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #810 - 12/01/16 at 13:51:05
 
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Someday I will be old......But not today!

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Kenny G
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #811 - 12/01/16 at 20:55:35
 
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's
lost. Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction,
with the intention of having lunch.

The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep nuts now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the lion is
about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around
here?"

Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the lion. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a
deal for himself with the lion.

The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!"

Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog
sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them
yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says
........

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!"

Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth
and treachery!

Bull nuts and brilliance only come with age and experience.

If you don't send this to 2 old' friends right away, there will be 2 fewer
people laughing in the world.

Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully
challenged'.

You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?

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justin_o_guy2
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What happened?

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East Texas, 1/2 dallas/la.
Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #812 - 12/02/16 at 15:23:39
 
Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!"


That's seriously funny.

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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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old.indian
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #813 - 12/02/16 at 16:02:56
 
Obliviously the old Doberman was not from Tex-ass......  Grin
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Lectron carb, modified head, stage 3 cam, Wiseco piston, header and Dyna, Varsi's cam chain adjuster, head plug and drilled rotor, Tkat, 12" shocks and 17/43 chain conversion.EdL's 4"FCs
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justin_o_guy2
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What happened?

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East Texas, 1/2 dallas/la.
Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #814 - 12/02/16 at 18:05:34
 
Of COURSE not, the lion Lived,,
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.- Edmund Burke.
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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #815 - 12/03/16 at 20:48:20
 
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #816 - 12/15/16 at 14:36:44
 
It’s so cold…



…Someone spilled hot coffee on me and I thanked them.
…A group of chickens walked into a KFC to warm up.
…Chuck Norris put on a jacket.
…Even the Good Humor man is in a bad mood.
…That I can’t even get into a heated argument with my wife.
…Pickpockets are calling in sick.
…Richard Simmons is actually wearing pants.
…I chipped a tooth on my soup.
…Grandpa’s teeth were chattering – in the glass.
…Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick.
…We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
…The politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets.
…Beauty contestants had to draw pictures of themselves for the swimsuit competition.
…Pamela Anderson was downgraded from “hot” to “tepid”.
…I fell out of bed and my pajamas broke.
…Miley Cyrus made sure she had underwear on before she went out.
…Down at the city morgue, you couldn’t tell the stiffs from the guys who worked there.
…Al Gore returned his Nobel prize.
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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MnSpring
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Younger than most
people my age.

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #817 - 12/15/16 at 16:12:43
 
And, it's so cold,
Had to use,  'Starting Fluid',
in the outhouse this morning !@
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Ben Franklin once said: "If you give up a freedom, for the sake of security, you will have neither".
Which is More TRUE, today, than yesterday.('06, S-40, Stock) well, mostly .
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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #818 - 12/15/16 at 18:20:36
 
Beer is a good "starting fluid" if you need to "go"!  Works every time  Grin
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #819 - 12/22/16 at 19:10:53
 
.
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New_Bitmap_Image_2.jpg

There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Kris01
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Eat, sleep, RIDE!

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Tennessee
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #820 - 01/06/17 at 17:44:06
 
Ya know how you search for the new Suzuki motorcycles and the internet give you crayons instead? Well, I now present to you Star Wars snowflakes that you can cut out yourself!  Grin

http://www.anthonyherreradesigns.com/starwarssnowflakes
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Dave
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Camp Springs, Kentucky
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #821 - 01/07/17 at 03:01:33
 
Be  careful with what you post on this forum Kris01.

We might just start calling you "snowflake". Wink
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Someday I will be old......But not today!

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Kris01
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #822 - 01/07/17 at 07:21:40
 
I've been called much worse!  Grin
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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Dave
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SuzukiSavage.com
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Posts: 18314
Camp Springs, Kentucky
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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #823 - 01/23/17 at 05:19:27
 
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Someday I will be old......But not today!

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Kris01
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Eat, sleep, RIDE!

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Re: HUMOR (jokes and such!)
Reply #824 - 02/10/17 at 06:57:37
 
Did you hear about the guy that couldn't pay for his exorcism?

He was repossessed!  Grin
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There's no problem that a full tank of gas and a sunny day can't fix!

2008 S40, Rotella T 15W-40 w/ZDDP added, Dyna, 140/90-15, Battery Tender Jr., Seat lift, #52.5/150/3 washers, Raptor
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