So...they just won't give up. They responded to my report of having fedexed the check and basically said "they told me" they do not accept checks and to put a stop payment on my check and send them the money via paypal. Of course...the address they gave me is bogus as far as them living there or having access to the place because it links to a "dance hall" in Jamaica NY...which we already knew.
Later, a few more emails in (they seem to get flustered and hit me with 3-4 emails per reply) they said that my paypal must not be working and to send the money by venmo, then a few minutes later said that was a
misspelling and to use Zelle. So what did I do...you guessed it...I made up a totally fake Zelle transaction confirmation (see image) and sent that to them early this morning.
Naturally they have responded 4 times by email saying they are waiting on the transaction to complete, they don't see the money, it is taking too long, please get back to them, what is my phone number so they can call me, etc.
Yes, this is a time suck, but it satisfies that devious side of my brain.

Any other good suggestions out there?
JOG, as my legal counsel, what should I do?