I told Master Yoda I wanted a brand new set of saddle bags for my XV535 backup bike, specifically a big set of bags that could carry a gallon jug of milk and other groceries.

He grunted, "New, why new?"

I explained that buying old bags through the internet was a crapshoot, sometimes you got something good, but most times the sacks you got were old and floppy, kinda like the old woman he's been dating ....

He smacked me with his cane for that one, but he got the point, I think.  
Kicked me out for the rest of the day though jest 'cause it was too too true.

==========

When I went back the next day he had two $20 bills laid out on the table.

"Budget for new bags" was all he said, then he pointed at my light saber and raised his left eyebrow.

Crap .... another Jedi test.   I hate these stupid tests.

"Master, may I have at least one hint?   <quote>: 'It is not good to start on a journey without a roadmap.'"

He likes them old obscure Jedi sayings, so this ought to get me something helpful.  

Or another whack with the cane, you never know.

"Hmmmmm .....  smartass are you?   Jafrum.  Leave your saber where you picked up money  --  information costly is, always.  Good that you know this - fact this is, young pup."

As I was leaving, he held up his cane.  I knew he had something else and here it comes ...

"Heavy, milk is -- no bag supports are you allowed.  Overcome challenge without showing solution -- mysterious to all outside observers is the Jedi way."

=============

I'm so screwed.   This is gonna be tough ....

Ok, the bags came Federal Express in two days -- all for the standard $5.41 Jafrum freight charge.  (I hope Master Yoda doesn't plan to keep track of the shipping charges and taxes in his challenge amount -- shipping is beginning to really suck as energy costs keep going up and he never counts on sales tax as his swamp doesn't charge him any)

The bags look good, they have a plastic hoop sewn into the curved form to help them stay looking like bags for a long time and the strapping and such looks up to holding up some weight.

How the heck am I gonna put milk in these things and keep them out of the spokes?  Master Yoda has done given me a whammy challenge  -- bags sag with weight and he won't let me have a bag support frame.

I've got $5.05 left in the budget (yeah, technically I blew it in shipping & taxes but what Master Yoda doesn't know won't hurt him) and a set of good looking new bags that won't stay out of the spokes.

I'm screwed, I just know it.   Oh well .... if it was easy anybody could do it.

=============


Time to go to Lowes and get in line with the flow of the Force ....  

You just go into the Jedi meditative state while walking around looking.


====   (special Jedi  instructions)   ====

You have to walk around and look at stuff.  

You have to remember the parameters of the test, you have to hold them in your mind.

You can't show anything.  "Hidden and mysterious are the ways of the Force ..."

The bag can't sag or move into the spokes.

Part of the bag will rest on the shocks (about a quarter of it)

The leather will twist and move into the spokes

Air flow will make the bag move back and push inwards.

The old style metal supports went to the bottom of the bag and held it out.

The bags still drooped with age and got all soft and "baggy"....

Milk jugs, bouncing shock absorbers ....

How do those good lookin' girls do it when they are dancing?

.... if they aren't allowed an underwire bra that is?

Aha!  How do they do it with NO bra -- a nakid set of tits when pole dancing?

Internal support !!

Eureka !!


(see, we just go with the flow of the force while walking around the place where all the stuff is while looking at the stuff and thinking about nekkid tits)


============


The rest is elimination of various ways to do internal support.  The bags have internal plastic hoop stuff to keep the rounded form -- you just have to make the back of the bag rigid enough to support the sag load of a gallon of milk, bridging the load between the milk jug and the shock absorber.  

Girls figured this stuff out ages ago, after all.

And here is my $5.05 solution, a piece of thin very stiff luan plywood for $2.88 and a tube of Liquid Nails for $1.74 (total with tax is $4.99)





You make the cardboard form by tracing the back of the bag, sizing it in by the overlap seam amount, cutting the cardboard template and checking and adjusting it so the cut piece of stiff luan plywood is a snug "trapped fit" to the back crease seam of the bag pocket.



You use "more than enough" liquid nails to make the back of the bag and the wooden support piece become one, then you clamp it with the weight of all the canned goods in your wife's pantry for 48 hours until the liquid nails has totally set.

You added a bit over 1/8" (say 3/16") to the inside back of the bag.  But now the back is flat and inflexible and is mated to the plastic support hoop structure, so the whole bag is relatively rigid now.



Cost    (gee... I hope Master Yoda forgets about them $5.41 in shipping charges as it doesn't show on the Jafrum receipt)

$34.95  Jafrum saddle bags
    4.99  Lowes for glue and luan plywood


Anyhow, the glue is setting up and I've got me two days to move my turn signals to the back of the fender and get me that reflector thingie moved out of the way so I can get the new bags mounted all proper like.


=============

=============


Aw crap, I stressed one of my turn signal's rubber mounts taking it off and the crack that has been growing for the last 2 years finally let go in my hand.  

I resisted the Darkside and did NOT throw the 17mm wrench up against the wall.  I did quote Master Yoda's favorite phrase that he uses when his cane slips in the swamp mud and dumps him on his butt in the green stinking slime.

Of course this is a Yamaha and Yammie does NOT support parts for a bike past 10 years as a company policy -- there is no turn signal parts even listed on Bike Bandit and Ron Ayers doesn't even have a listing for a Yammie bike that is over 10 years old, period.  

I merge with the Force and consider what is a "turn signal rubber mount isolator".   They are flexible.  They are insulators.  They are semi-rigid and can deflect to some degree.  And this one is in two pieces.
"Wounded, it is." would be what Master Yoda would say about it.

Hey, how about my Jedi first aid training -- could that help?

==============

First, set the bone back into position.   (I mixed a tiny bit of epoxy to spot it back together)



Next, prepare the "piece cut off an old torn up pair of polyester pants" bandage to wrap around it to make the walking cast.  You do this by soaking it in quick setting epoxy.



I used polyester because it is a VERY flexible fabric and that shape is a shallow cone and the top is a lot smaller than the bottom -- the fabric must be able to give a lot to make it wrap correctly.



Lastly, you gotta hold everything nice and straight while the epoxy finishes hardening and then you gotta spin it while you trim off the ugly.




=============

This wounded solder is suitable to pick up his light saber and go back into battle, Sir!

(effective cost is $0.00 as all materials were at hand already)

"Uncertain, is .... success or failure.  Time moves, reality changes around you ... changes one into the other.  New bags, which is?"

"Master, my new bags failed the test for total cost because of tax and shipping but they carried the milk as required without showing any method of support".

"Ah, test ...  weeks past is test.   Reality is now and is moving around you."  

I guess this translates to 'What does today's reality tell you about new bags?'  Sometimes Yoda is hard to understand, he's got this dyslexic speech impediment thing, you know.

"They suck Master.  They ride too low, they are down in the exhaust flow from side pipes and the turn signals look all squinty sticking out from the rear brake light assembly."

"Has reality changed after riding for two weeks?"

"Reality really didn't change, Master.  Reality was the same before and after the two weeks".

"What changed?"

"Before was the test, now is the daily use."

"No different, test and use -- failure lies there.  Too fast you were in answering the test.  Premature and incomplete your answer was.  Nonstandard, is your purple girly bike, nonstandard must your answer be."

=======================

The little light goes on in my head, the test is ongoing and the bags are just like everything else a Jedi does, an ongoing relationship with the Force.  I need me a old Jedi quote, quick !!

=======================


"A journey that may last a lifetime begins with a single step"  I quoted from memory.

"Good, you begin to understand.  Complete the test, but spend no more money in doing so."

"What resources may I command in accomplishing this task?"

TWHACK!

(ouch, that cane smarts!)

Master pauses and sweeps his cane around us in a wide arc.  This encompasses the swamp, his shack and the junkyard behind his shack he calls his shop.

"What are resources?  Things are ...  the Force is  ... connected all things are ... with the Force flowing between them."


===============


So, we are scrounging again ... I get it.   Fix it by begging, borrowing or stealing whatever it takes.

I bow and leave, walking out back behind the shack to see what the Force leads me to notice.

.... all I can see is a 1" wide, 1/8" thick 5 foot long piece of stiff flat stock in Master's scrap corner, so I make like it is connected to the Force and I am connected to the Force and we leave together.


What this is is going to do to make things work out, I haven't a clue.

"Inscrutable are the ways of the Force".

And the saddest thing about what Yoda has done to me is even while I am bolting it all up, I am already thinking about improvements to be done on the next iteration.  I can take these big bags and using the same tricks I can put them on the Savage.  Then I can get some REALLY big bags to put on the XV535

(really big slanted bags, that is).

Anyway, it turned out OK and the bags aren't getting blasted by the exhaust pipe any more, so that was the main thing.



This shows the wiring for the turn signals running down the bracket.



This shows the exit path for the upswept pipes cleanly missing the bags.  The shock showed no soot where the bag is now, so I think I won't have overheating issues with the bags (hope not, anyway).



Another shot of the pipe side.



And the left side of the bike.


=============

Like I said, it is easier to fit large slant bags than square bags.  A slant big enough for a single gallon of milk could have gone in behind the shock and not required the extra 3 inches of offset.

These bags are plenty big enough for what I need to carry, so I am good to run this rig around a bit to see how it works out.

Yoda didn't say too much when he saw the bike.  He wanted to know what I called the bracket thingie, and I told him it was a multi-tasking turn signal mount slash license plate holder.  He snorted at  that one and swung at me with his walking stick, but I jumped back out of the way before he could smack me.

He asked me if I was done and I told him that that would be premature, the test really wasn't over yet as improvements were possible.  

He agreed with that part anyway.

"Ready are you for cam now?"  sez he.

"Cam, what cam Master?" sez I, all innocent like.

THWACK!!  goes his knarly old stick on my sore aching head bone ....

"Oh, that cam ....  I still haven't figured out what it fits, Master"



"Measure it" sez he --

"Clues to its proper use you may find."

Mudslug, cam into engine put.  Challenge are you avoiding.  Flow with the Force, not push foul wind from fingers.

Yoda

I'm glad you love these little situations I get put into -- you jest let that squinty eyed old coot whack you in the head a time or two and see how you like it.

Ok Sakara, this time you put your headbone on the line with the hard whapping knarly walking stick -- Yoda said "cam into engine put" --

Which engine?

The one in my bike, or the one on my desk?

The one on my desk requires some work, but as that work progressed I could meet all of Lancer's hop-up requirements.

The one in my bike would require downtime, out of service time and it would be a partial hop up and not likely to yield the cam's potential as it is a mostly stock engine.

Well, what do you say, oh paduwan?

Which way does the Force flow on this little quandry?

(and which way does the nasty little whappy stick swing?)

========
========
========


I see Sakara has better sense than to go get himself whacked in the head answering questions like that.

I told Master Yoda I was waiting on some answers from the list experts as to the best path to take .... he wasn't happy with the delay.

"Installed Stage 2 -- who?  Ride report was?"

I didn't remember any installations or ride reports, so I shrugged my shoulders and held my hands palm up in the old Jedi sign for "WTF, I dunno?"

He hit my palms with his stick and turned and went back into his shack.

=============

You notice he won't put it in his own Savage's engine -- right?

Mine is running good right now and it isn't cold enough to take it down for the winter.

runwyrlph wrote on 10/15/09 at 13:10:32:



Zomg...busted?  

/swings light saber back and forth
master?


tehee that was fun  

my apologies master - mistaken I was.

it's just that those car tires on bikes scare me ....

oh wait...  fear leads to anger!  .... anger leads to hate! ...  uh- oh